So apparently a vagina comes with an instruction manual.

I pride myself on the fact that the opinion of others adds little to my happiness but the fact that they think I care about said opinion, adds to my level of irritation and annoyance.

It seems that I’m incapable of doing anything right simply because I value the notion of ‘independence’. I don’t have to be a feminist to realise that I’m not a trophy and that I am my own individual. We’re in the month of Christmas and aside from worshipping a bedazzled green tree, it also comes with visiting various family members. I’m a month away from my twenty-first birthday and it seems that the trending topic is; when are you getting married? No. No one asks about my studies or about my desires for the future but simply what am I going to settle down and become the dutiful wife that decorates her bedroom with her Bachelor of Arts degree because that’s all she got it for.  The chances of me planning for the future without the notion of a husband are ridiculous, especially since I’m Congolese. So what do we do? How did we get into this conundrum? Where did my parents go wrong? Apparently it was when they adopted the western way and decided to raise their kids in a manner that would teach them to depend on themselves. No, we can’t have that. A young woman depending on herself? In the 21st century? What has the world come to?

I love the way I grew up. I did not have the most emotionally and mentally stable childhood but I’m glad that I was not brought up on ignorance. I went to good school and they taught me values that seem to be lost on the children of today. Yes, the only language I’m fluent in is English with French being my second language and bits and pieces of Setswana so I’m not the best person to be seen as the paradigm of the African people. However, that gives no body any right to judge me for whom I am as a person and as a Christian. I’m incapable of following the norms and colouring in the line and that is something I pride myself on. How many of you can admit that you can walk the plains of the earth and not sweat with the notion of other people judging you from head to toe?

I wear short skirts but no, not one person has been between my legs. Can you say the same in your long skirt and loose fitting jeans?

I’m not going to get married until I’ve learnt to depend on no one but myself. In the land of the Congolese, that’s almost as bad as blasphemy. Why should I learn how to fend for myself when the only people who are allowed to put food on my plate are my parents then my husband?
Maybe if we weren’t so narrow minded, we could have dug ourselves out of the hole Belgium and the CIA dug for us.

If you truly believe that the only thing a young girl should have to show for herself is a matric certificate and a husband, then so be it. But do not criticise my upbringing or my lifestyle because I concern myself with only what God thinks and less with what the narrow minded victims of colonization think. Okay, that was a little harsh but maybe I’m just dizzy. All this ignorance in the air has made me nauseas. Better get a mop, I read the manual so I know how to use it.


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