Yes.. I’m a little behind on my recapping but in my defence.. I have nothing, let’s get on with it.. Oh before I forget; FUCK BRAN STARK. Okay, I’m done.. Hold on tight, there’s a couple of twists round the corner..

I’m definitely loving this new Sansa Stark. Her strength, her sass.. I prefer her to the selfish, dim-witted girl she was in Season 1. In this episode she reunites with the man that introduced her to her psychopath of a hubby and she sure has some words for Littlefinger, The man who freed me from the monsters who murdered my family, and … gave me to other monsters who murdered my family..did you know about Ramsay?..He did what he liked with the rest of me, as long as I could still give him an heir. He did the other things he did ladies aren’t supposed to talk about”.. Of course she says all this with Brienne right behind her but it doesnt take away from her strenghth and the fact that she sees Littlefinger for the middle-finger that he is. However, the sneaky man tells Sansa about Brynden Blackfish, her uncle, still having an army and it’s clear that Sansa may hate him but she kinda needs him. Damn it.

Back in Braavos, Arya is still trying to cement her identity of.. well no one but The Waif ain’t buying it. Jaqen H’ghar gives Arya her first mission and if she fails,  she’s going to give her face to the wall in the Hall of Faces.. literally. During the mission, she watches a comical play aboout the end of King Robert’s reign in Westeros.

SIDENOTE: “I feel the winds of winter are sailing across the land”..Hmm..

Pretty sure Jaqen H’ghar sent her there on purpose because Arya watches her father portrayed as a complete idiot and it didn’t make it better when they got to the beheading part. Clearly she has yet to be no one. She rushes backstage to survey her target who seems.. well not really worthy of being targeted which she questions but Jaqen H’ghar reminds her that a servant asks no questions.

One of the big twists in this episode (for non-book readers) is the origin of the White Walkers finally being revelaed. Bran Stark is doing his time-travelling bit with the Three-Eyed Raven when he sees the Children of the Forest placing a blade of dragonglass into the chest of a man, who they have shackled to a tree. The man’s eyes start to turn icy blue and Bran wakes up. He poses questions and is met with a shocking response; The Children of the Forest created the White Walkers  to fight back against the men who were seizing their lands.. Really? How’s that working out for you?…

We find ourselves at the Iron Islands, where the Kingsmoot is under way. Yara makes her case with the help of Theon which leads to cheers until Euron Greyjoy shows up. Yara accusses him of murdering her father, his brother, which he readily admits to. He even apologizes for not doing it sooner. Euron wants Westeros and how does he plan on getting it? By building a massive fleet, sailing to Slavers Bay and seducing Daenerys Targaryen. Hmm.. He’s no Idris Elba but it’s possible. That was a great selling point because it’s not long before he is crowned King through baptism by drowning. During his little bubble bath,  Yara and Theon steal the best ships and leave which is a good thing considering that Euron‘s first command as King was their murder. Euron seems impressed with their actions before ordering the construction of a thousand more ships.

Back in Essos, Daenerys realises just how much Ser Jorah loves her and is ready to welcome him back into her court, that is until he comes clean about his greyscale disease. Daenerys clearly won’t take no for an aswer commanding him to find a cure and then coming back into her court.Ncaaaaaw.

In Meereen, Tyrion, Varys, Grey Worm and Missandei invite the High Red Priestess from Volantis to help them figure out how they will break the news of the slave-deal to the freed slaves. The Priestress believes Daenerys is the chosen one(Melisandre believes it’s Jon Snow..dumdumdum..).  Tyrion is onboard but Varys calls BS. After all, Melisandre thought Stannis was the chosen one. The Priestess is unwaivered  and goes on to remind him of his traumatising castration. Going as far as to detail how a voice spoke to him when his genitals were tossed in a fire and it’s kind of sad to see Varys so frightened. Wonder what the voice said…

Bran never listens. They told him to stop climbing.. and now The Three-Eyed Raven told him to not go into the past alone.. Well you know what’s about to go down..

He decides to be a starring and go into the past alone and what does he find? The army of the living dead. as well as the Night King and the White Walkers in line. Scary part? THEY CAN SEE HIM! The Night King grabs him and leaves his mark on Bran which means that he can get to them in the tree. Basically, time is up and it’s time for Bran to become the Three-Eyed Raven. Oh boy…

Back at The Wall, Jon Snow and Davos try to think of battle plans and Sansa does them all a favour by passing on the information that Littlefinger gave her, claiming she got it from a raven delivered to Ramsay back at Winterfell. Hmm. The gang(with Tormund in tow, doing his best to lay the moves on Brienne) make their way to the Blackfish leaving Edd in charge of Castle Black.

tormubnd

Back beyond The Wall, Meera and Hodor start packing up to leave but oh no.. They’re here. The Children of The Forest start throwing explosive stones at the wights but that’s not stopping The Night King and his two friends who calmly, through fire, walk into the cave. The wights start coming in through the ceiling so it’s an all out battle, with Bran still unconcious. Luckily Meera reaches Bran and begs him to “Warg into Hodor now!” Luckily he hears her and does as she begs. Meera even manages to kill one White Walker with a spear but Summer sacrifes herself for the team.RIP SUMMER. Only two wolves remain now; Ghost and Nymeria

As they run off, The Night King  cuts down the Three-Eyed Raven who vanishes into dust in the dream world. One of The Children stays behind ands blows herself up, taking out as many wights as possible allowing for Meera, Hodor and Bran to get outside.

Meera yells at Hodor to hold the door while she drags the unconcsious Bran away. While Bran is controlling Hodor in the present, the younger version of Hodor, Wyllis sees Bran in the past and then begins to have a seizure whilst screaming “HOLD THE DOOR!”. What the…

In the past, Wyllis keeps yelling ‘HOLD THE DOOR!‘ which soon becomes “HODOR!” over and over again while in the present, our Hodor is holding the door whilst being torn apart by the wights.

WHAT THE FUCK!?! Hodor’s whole purpose in life was to.. hold..the..door..

 

hold-the-door

This twist is one of the three that George. R.R Martin has yet to put in his books. The first was Shireen Baratheaon‘s death, the second being Hodor‘s sacrifice and the last will be revealed at the end of the story. Oh boy.

 

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